5 Comments
User's avatar
Brent Jablonski's avatar

Mari is right to invoke the Principle of Charity. From the response to John Davidson to the persistence of wolf-whistling and 'rage baiting' posts, our public discourse is suffering from a massive empathy deficit.

The 'boys will be boys' mentality is a perfect example of this failure; it excuses behavior that the perpetrators would be ashamed to show their own mother, sisters or daughters. If we view basic respect as a burdensome 'accommodation', we risk sliding into a world where no one owes anything to anyone. And that sounds like a dark place to live. As the saying goes: 'Here there be tygers'.

Mari, the Happy Wanderer's avatar

Yes. I was really trying not to be one-sided. I think we all need to apply the principle of charity, even though it can be difficult.

That being said, I don’t understand some men’s reaction to the hiking post, especially because nothing the OP was recommending was outside the norm on the trails.

Pan Narrans's avatar

"Frustrated, I would ask them how they would feel if panhandlers relentlessly accosted them the moment they set foot outdoors."

This is an EXCELLENT metaphor, one that helps me (as a man) put into words how women must feel about being catcalled all the time. And the epilepsy one is good, too. It's shocking how quick people are to bully someone for having a disability while - somehow! - convincing themselves that they're the good guys.

Pan Narrans's avatar

The Royal Order of Adjectives! I didn't know it had a name! I remember the first time I found out about that - it's so odd when you "learn" something only to realise you somehow knew about it already.

Mari, the Happy Wanderer's avatar

Yes! It is fascinating to me that native speakers just “get” these quirks of the language, while people learning the language have to understand the rules and systems first.