Amazing Grace

Last Blessings, Last Words, Last Act of Love

Hi, everyone. A few days ago, after a short illness, my dad died at the age of 91. We are all very sad, but we know that it is a blessing that he lived such a long life in perfect health (until a month ago, Dad was still golfing, doing yard work, and getting together with friends), and that he died surrounded by people who love him.

Much as we might want to have meaningful final conversations with our loved ones, sometimes that isn’t possible. But it’s ok—we didn’t have any unfinished business with Dad. He knew how much we loved him from our day-to-day conversations over the years. I was lucky to make it back to my parents’ home in time for a precious few days with Dad before he got seriously ill. We didn’t talk about the deep stuff, but I enjoyed watching the Timberwolves with him and my mom. My mom is new to the game, and so he taught her about the difference between a block and goaltending, the three-second violation, and other basketball rules.

My parents at a Timberwolves game a few months ago. Photo by my sister-in-law Ro.

One afternoon, Dad told me all about the pigeons he kept as a boy. He had several different breeds—homing pigeons, rock pigeons, fantails—and each breed could do tricks on the wing. He liked to take his homing pigeons far away, release them, and race them home. This was our last real conversation. Dad knew how much I love animals, and I am grateful that he chose to share the story of his pigeons with me in his final days.

Photo by Zac Ong on Unsplash.

Our family was scattered when Dad began to fail, but he managed to hang on so that we could get to the hospital. My brother, sister-in-law, and niece were in Seattle. My brother got back early and was able have one last dinner at home with me and our mom and dad, and then to be at the hospital. My nephew lives in town and was at the hospital both days. The morning of Dad’s last day, I picked my daughter up from her college and brought her straight to the hospital, and my son arrived from DC in the afternoon. My brother’s wife and daughter flew back from Seattle that evening and raced to the hospital. A few minutes after they hugged Dad and told him they loved him, he died. I think this was his last act of love—to stay with us until we all could say goodbye.

A few hours before Dad died, my mom, daughter, and I circled his bed and sang his favorite hymn, “Amazing Grace.” I thought readers might like to listen to the hymn in his honor. Below are three of my favorite versions. Please choose which one you like best, or maybe listen to all three.

Judy Collins’s pure voice is perfect for the definitive folk version:

The American soprano Barbara Hendricks sings an opera-gospel version:

And the Five Blind Boys perform a bluesy version of the hymn set to the tune of “The House of the Rising Sun”:

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Thanks for listening, readers. If you’d like, please share your thoughts in the comments.

The Tidbit

Dad’s favorite pop song was “Blowin’ in the Wind,” and a few years ago, at his request, my daughter learned it for him. She brought her guitar to the hospital on his last day and played and sang it for him one last time.