I know you mentioned in the first article of this series that you think time-consuming parenting styles are a major contributor to the fertility crisis, and while I don't disagree, what does one do with the fact that Europe's average fertility rate is lower than the United States' despite extremely hands-on parenting being less common?
This is a really good point. I think the fertility crisis has many causes. It is depressing to me that the social safety-nets that are common throughout Europe don’t seem to raise the fertility rate either. (Or maybe they keep it from getting still worse?) I sometimes wonder whether we are in a vicious circle, in which the fewer people have kids, the fewer positive experiences their kids have with young children, making them less likely to have kids of their own.
Selling cabbages door to door will never catch on! Though the ridiculousness of Girl Scout cookies has got to end! My co worker is a troop leader and she had to personally guarantee the sale of all the boxes they order! If a person says “I don’t want any cookies here’s a donation to your troop” they have to handover the entire donation to the Girl Scout council. It does not go to that particular troop. Also they only make 60-80 cents per $6 box!!!! I love GS cookies but am sad about the commercialization of the enterprise!
Wow, I didn’t know this about Girl Scout cookies. What a racket! When Noah and Casey were in elementary school, I really hated all the Sally Foster fundraisers, which required kids to sell overpriced junk, and less than half the money went to the school. We just donated directly to the school and otherwise refused to participate. So disappointing that Girl Scout families can’t just do the same.
I agree 100% and have a relevant story to share. As I'm sure you remember, our house in Princeton, NJ was right across the street from a playground. On weekend days when the kids were old enough, Arthur and I would sit on our porch swing and read the newspaper (remember newspapers?) while the kids played in the playground. We could see that they were OK, but weren't able to watch them every minute. I have a feeling this made some parents (moms?) uncomfortable, but people in the neighborhood knew us and saw we were actually making sure our kids were safe without being right on top of them. It was a great arrangement for them and for us. Miranda and Sophia then graduated to wandering around the park the playground was in, hiking through tall grass they called "the brambles" and indulging their independence and imagination. It really was wonderful. Many of the Princeton moms, though, were very committed to Constant Supervision of their kids, which I doubt benefited them or their children.
I love this. There weren't really any neighbor kids my age to hang out with when I was growing up, but I was an only child, a latchkey kid and a weirdo with a wild imagination to keep me company. I made my own breakfast, biked to and from school and buried and dug up all the spare keys in the house playing Secret Garden by the side yard gate a lot of afternoons.
What I lived for, though, was summer vacation when I got to take a plane to Ohio (by myself from age 7 -- I doubt they even let you do this anymore, but I LOVED IT) and spend a couple months staying with my grandparents and running wild with my cousins. We'd get shooed out in the morning, show up for 20 minutes to wolf down pepperoni sandwiches and throw back a a Fresca, race out or down to the basement again until dinner, then charge back out to catch fireflies or whatever. It was glorious, and I'm so profoundly grateful I got to grow up this way. I learned how to deal with loneliness and missing my mom, making sure everyone sticks together, how to navigate complicated girl cousin dynamics, the shortest path through everyone's backyards to catch the ice cream truck before it leaves the burg, and so much more. If I had had kids, I would have done everything in my power to let them grow up with similar freedom. (Although ironically we only have cats... and they're indoor-only.)
Wow, your summers sound like absolute bliss! And a lot like my own childhood summers. Our kids didn’t get to spend a whole summer with cousins, but for a week every summer my parents rented cabins for the whole family Up North to the Lake, and playing with their cousins during these weeks are some of our kids’ favorite memories.
(PS: It is good that your cats are indoors! In our neighborhood it is typical for cars to be outdoors, and they get hit by cars. It is really awful. Indoor cats live much longer.)
I know you mentioned in the first article of this series that you think time-consuming parenting styles are a major contributor to the fertility crisis, and while I don't disagree, what does one do with the fact that Europe's average fertility rate is lower than the United States' despite extremely hands-on parenting being less common?
This is a really good point. I think the fertility crisis has many causes. It is depressing to me that the social safety-nets that are common throughout Europe don’t seem to raise the fertility rate either. (Or maybe they keep it from getting still worse?) I sometimes wonder whether we are in a vicious circle, in which the fewer people have kids, the fewer positive experiences their kids have with young children, making them less likely to have kids of their own.
Selling cabbages door to door will never catch on! Though the ridiculousness of Girl Scout cookies has got to end! My co worker is a troop leader and she had to personally guarantee the sale of all the boxes they order! If a person says “I don’t want any cookies here’s a donation to your troop” they have to handover the entire donation to the Girl Scout council. It does not go to that particular troop. Also they only make 60-80 cents per $6 box!!!! I love GS cookies but am sad about the commercialization of the enterprise!
Wow, I didn’t know this about Girl Scout cookies. What a racket! When Noah and Casey were in elementary school, I really hated all the Sally Foster fundraisers, which required kids to sell overpriced junk, and less than half the money went to the school. We just donated directly to the school and otherwise refused to participate. So disappointing that Girl Scout families can’t just do the same.
I agree 100% and have a relevant story to share. As I'm sure you remember, our house in Princeton, NJ was right across the street from a playground. On weekend days when the kids were old enough, Arthur and I would sit on our porch swing and read the newspaper (remember newspapers?) while the kids played in the playground. We could see that they were OK, but weren't able to watch them every minute. I have a feeling this made some parents (moms?) uncomfortable, but people in the neighborhood knew us and saw we were actually making sure our kids were safe without being right on top of them. It was a great arrangement for them and for us. Miranda and Sophia then graduated to wandering around the park the playground was in, hiking through tall grass they called "the brambles" and indulging their independence and imagination. It really was wonderful. Many of the Princeton moms, though, were very committed to Constant Supervision of their kids, which I doubt benefited them or their children.
I remember that wonderful park! And I agree: Constant Supervision (love the caps!) is not good for kids, and a lot of trouble for parents.
Hey Mari, We're in the same time zone. How fun is that? Sending timely hugs!
I love this. There weren't really any neighbor kids my age to hang out with when I was growing up, but I was an only child, a latchkey kid and a weirdo with a wild imagination to keep me company. I made my own breakfast, biked to and from school and buried and dug up all the spare keys in the house playing Secret Garden by the side yard gate a lot of afternoons.
What I lived for, though, was summer vacation when I got to take a plane to Ohio (by myself from age 7 -- I doubt they even let you do this anymore, but I LOVED IT) and spend a couple months staying with my grandparents and running wild with my cousins. We'd get shooed out in the morning, show up for 20 minutes to wolf down pepperoni sandwiches and throw back a a Fresca, race out or down to the basement again until dinner, then charge back out to catch fireflies or whatever. It was glorious, and I'm so profoundly grateful I got to grow up this way. I learned how to deal with loneliness and missing my mom, making sure everyone sticks together, how to navigate complicated girl cousin dynamics, the shortest path through everyone's backyards to catch the ice cream truck before it leaves the burg, and so much more. If I had had kids, I would have done everything in my power to let them grow up with similar freedom. (Although ironically we only have cats... and they're indoor-only.)
Wow, your summers sound like absolute bliss! And a lot like my own childhood summers. Our kids didn’t get to spend a whole summer with cousins, but for a week every summer my parents rented cabins for the whole family Up North to the Lake, and playing with their cousins during these weeks are some of our kids’ favorite memories.
(PS: It is good that your cats are indoors! In our neighborhood it is typical for cars to be outdoors, and they get hit by cars. It is really awful. Indoor cats live much longer.)
Midwestern lakes are the best. Most of our shenanigans took place about 200 yards from Lake Erie, where my grandparents had a cottage.