Beyond the negative associations that accompany the word housewife, I think it's clumsy and imprecise. No one who works in the home, raising and caring for a family-- maintaining the domestic space, finances, schedules, nutrition, education careers, neighbor and family relations, activities and outings, etc. are married to their house. Let's just face it, housewife is a female gendered word that has been devalued like any job or career path that is traditionally female dominated. It's encouraging that US economists in the Labor Department or Treasury are attempting assign monetary value to home makers, which I think is more accurately describes the job. Indeed, providing a stable and safe place to live, one that nurtures healthy familial attachments, nourishes the stomachs and the souls of its habitants, and supports educational and career opportunities of family members, is really invaluable and incalculable, but at least it's a start. My recommendation, don't settle for a word that inaccurately describes the valuable and critical role you play to the economy and to society (And yes, Margaret Thatcher there is such a thing as a society!) I vote for home maker!
As a housewife and former editor, I love this idea! Yes! "Home maker" is both respectful and accurate. And I am hoping that the Build Back Better plan will start compensating people who work in the home, and better compensating paid caregivers. The work we do is important! Thanks for this comment!
I agree with most of this, except one point. PTSD isn't just caused by war- it can be caused by house fires, car crashes, the suicide of a loved one, or even a lot of small tragedies stacked on top of each other. I'd argue calling it "shell shock" minimizes the real harm done by all these traumas.
Did you see Bryan's excellent comment above? I think "home maker" is a wonderful term and not at all euphemistic--it's actually more accurate than "housewife."
I often catch myself saying “I’m just a secretary” in reality I am the sole administrative assistant for two extremely busy and important departments at the university (they used to have two full time people that was reduced to one and a half when I took the position, further reduced to me only during Covid shutdown!). My two departments, Health and Counseling, have kept the university safe through COVID-19 through record keeping, contact tracing and helping our students through their mental health crises. My hours are 8:30-4:30 with an hour lunch break. I am usually at my desk before 8 and take a half hour lunch, I feel guilty if I leave my desk at the end of the day with work still to do! I hate that I have been sucked into the American view that we are defined by the hours we work. I has a conversation with my supervisor yesterday where we discussed the Icelandic experiment of a 4 day work week, they found productivity was increased and people were much happier. The Italian people have a saying “work to play” the only reason to go to work is to be able to afford their leisure time and enjoy it to the fullest! I took a well earned 3 day break 2 weeks ago. It was invigorating and I came back to work a better person. Oh and my friends and I, all now in our early to mid sixties, have come to terms with no longer being middle aged but old. Middle aged would mean living to 120! I do not think that would be a good idea! I actually look forward to next summer when I can claim my senior discount (62yrs and up) at the pool I belong to. I currently pay $280 to join next year it will cost me $140!!!!!
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Alison! I agree that admins do difficult and important work--often they are the only reason other workers can even function at all! And as for the shorter hours, I'm reminded of a friend from when I was in college. He was older, and he worked as a consultant. He would work for a few weeks on a project, and then go on epic hiking and camping trips in the American Southwest. He worked at most 50 percent of the time, and probably a lot less. He led a frugal life (he rented a room in a shared house and had an ancient car someone had given him), but he definitely enjoyed his life much more than people working crazy hours and never getting a break.
such interesting and profound reflections! Great! keep it up! There are many words/expressions wee use in everyday language we just use because everyone else does, without thinking about the background to them - sometimes negative.
I'll add a new comment here that I think is related. There are experiences in life that are socially unrecognized, so rare (or apparently rare), or so taboo to discuss that we don't name them at all. For example, I don't believe we have a name for people, like me, who have been told they are very slowly dying of incurable diseases. I am well aware of worse mental suffering historically and presently. But I suggest the strength of the modern human mind is pushed to it's natural limit when contemplating one's own death, daily, for years. Without a descriptive term, we barely recognize the spectrum of experiences on how life might be fulfilling and/or troubling for these unnamed groups. Yet, just as you described in your blog post about named groups, Mari, outsiders who comment (or even advise) on individuals with such unnamed statuses still manage to vary widely in their ability to acknowledge and interact with such individuals as the individuals themselves would find understanding, helpful, or respectful. 🦋🧡🦋
Thank you for sharing this, Candy. I was thinking of you as I wrote the post, actually, because I so admire your courageous honesty about difficult topics. Euphemisms may make people feel comfortable, but they impede the honest communication that is the only way we learn. So thank you for giving us an opportunity to learn from your experiences. And I’m sending a hug!
Beyond the negative associations that accompany the word housewife, I think it's clumsy and imprecise. No one who works in the home, raising and caring for a family-- maintaining the domestic space, finances, schedules, nutrition, education careers, neighbor and family relations, activities and outings, etc. are married to their house. Let's just face it, housewife is a female gendered word that has been devalued like any job or career path that is traditionally female dominated. It's encouraging that US economists in the Labor Department or Treasury are attempting assign monetary value to home makers, which I think is more accurately describes the job. Indeed, providing a stable and safe place to live, one that nurtures healthy familial attachments, nourishes the stomachs and the souls of its habitants, and supports educational and career opportunities of family members, is really invaluable and incalculable, but at least it's a start. My recommendation, don't settle for a word that inaccurately describes the valuable and critical role you play to the economy and to society (And yes, Margaret Thatcher there is such a thing as a society!) I vote for home maker!
As a housewife and former editor, I love this idea! Yes! "Home maker" is both respectful and accurate. And I am hoping that the Build Back Better plan will start compensating people who work in the home, and better compensating paid caregivers. The work we do is important! Thanks for this comment!
I agree with most of this, except one point. PTSD isn't just caused by war- it can be caused by house fires, car crashes, the suicide of a loved one, or even a lot of small tragedies stacked on top of each other. I'd argue calling it "shell shock" minimizes the real harm done by all these traumas.
Excellent point! I think we need a term that is both strong like "shell shock" and that also encompasses other traumas than those from war.
I thought that was what “PTSD” is for.
My mom used to say she was a homemaker. Is that a euphemism?
Did you see Bryan's excellent comment above? I think "home maker" is a wonderful term and not at all euphemistic--it's actually more accurate than "housewife."
I often catch myself saying “I’m just a secretary” in reality I am the sole administrative assistant for two extremely busy and important departments at the university (they used to have two full time people that was reduced to one and a half when I took the position, further reduced to me only during Covid shutdown!). My two departments, Health and Counseling, have kept the university safe through COVID-19 through record keeping, contact tracing and helping our students through their mental health crises. My hours are 8:30-4:30 with an hour lunch break. I am usually at my desk before 8 and take a half hour lunch, I feel guilty if I leave my desk at the end of the day with work still to do! I hate that I have been sucked into the American view that we are defined by the hours we work. I has a conversation with my supervisor yesterday where we discussed the Icelandic experiment of a 4 day work week, they found productivity was increased and people were much happier. The Italian people have a saying “work to play” the only reason to go to work is to be able to afford their leisure time and enjoy it to the fullest! I took a well earned 3 day break 2 weeks ago. It was invigorating and I came back to work a better person. Oh and my friends and I, all now in our early to mid sixties, have come to terms with no longer being middle aged but old. Middle aged would mean living to 120! I do not think that would be a good idea! I actually look forward to next summer when I can claim my senior discount (62yrs and up) at the pool I belong to. I currently pay $280 to join next year it will cost me $140!!!!!
Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Alison! I agree that admins do difficult and important work--often they are the only reason other workers can even function at all! And as for the shorter hours, I'm reminded of a friend from when I was in college. He was older, and he worked as a consultant. He would work for a few weeks on a project, and then go on epic hiking and camping trips in the American Southwest. He worked at most 50 percent of the time, and probably a lot less. He led a frugal life (he rented a room in a shared house and had an ancient car someone had given him), but he definitely enjoyed his life much more than people working crazy hours and never getting a break.
such interesting and profound reflections! Great! keep it up! There are many words/expressions wee use in everyday language we just use because everyone else does, without thinking about the background to them - sometimes negative.
I'll add a new comment here that I think is related. There are experiences in life that are socially unrecognized, so rare (or apparently rare), or so taboo to discuss that we don't name them at all. For example, I don't believe we have a name for people, like me, who have been told they are very slowly dying of incurable diseases. I am well aware of worse mental suffering historically and presently. But I suggest the strength of the modern human mind is pushed to it's natural limit when contemplating one's own death, daily, for years. Without a descriptive term, we barely recognize the spectrum of experiences on how life might be fulfilling and/or troubling for these unnamed groups. Yet, just as you described in your blog post about named groups, Mari, outsiders who comment (or even advise) on individuals with such unnamed statuses still manage to vary widely in their ability to acknowledge and interact with such individuals as the individuals themselves would find understanding, helpful, or respectful. 🦋🧡🦋
Thank you for sharing this, Candy. I was thinking of you as I wrote the post, actually, because I so admire your courageous honesty about difficult topics. Euphemisms may make people feel comfortable, but they impede the honest communication that is the only way we learn. So thank you for giving us an opportunity to learn from your experiences. And I’m sending a hug!
How about ‘geezer’?
Is that an anti-euphemism?
Tee hee!