The other side of this: sometimes I have (in retrospect) needed advice, but didn’t seek it or receive it because I either didn’t know I needed it (like before I initiated my “starter marriage” when I was young and clueless), or because I didn’t know who to ask (like when I was struggling to decide on an undergrad major).
There is also an art to perceiving when a friend or associate needs advice, and taking the risk of offering it. I think this is part of good mentoring, a role which I find myself in pretty often as a university professor in a professional undergrad program.
This is a really important point. There is an art to knowing when and how to offer advice, especially when we know someone needs it but we’re not sure whether they are ready to hear it.
Nov 11, 2022·edited Nov 11, 2022Liked by Mari, the Happy Wanderer
I LOVE Caspar!
I agree with your conclusion about your friends telling you that you should open an Etsy shop: it is totally a compliment! And your knitted items are gorgeous!
Vera has said the same thing about her paintings — people tell her she should open an Etsy but she spends a long time on her paintings and doubts she would recoup her time — plus she does it because she loves it and likes to make meaningful gifts for friends and family and not because she wants to toil away at it.
Also — loved the blond joke!
Unsolicited advice—I just smile and say thanks! I don’t mind unsolicited advice.
Thank you so much for these kind words! And I’m with Vera--I’d much rather give my knitted pieces as gifts to friends and family. It’s much more meaningful for me than just selling them!
I'm curious what you're going to write about the Aberline paradox, I'd half forgotten about it until I saw that post ..... It's kind of what I do for a living, what's your take?
Oh, I’m just a housewife, so I’m not on LinkedIn, alas. The Abilene Paradox will be in a post I’m writing for the first week in December--see you then!
Great post! I’m a chronic unsolicited-advice giver - I try to channel it into legal advice clinics, where people are making an appointment specifically to get my advice. I don’t know if it’s helping me give *less* advice elsewhere, though.
There’s an excellent coffee roaster in my town called Dancing Goats that got its name from that Ethiopian story!
I really like all of your kind, charitable, straightforward responses to unsolicited advice. Maybe one of the kindnesses people like me can do is figure out how to better notice when someone is clearly trying to make the advice stop 😂 
I do understand about the sweater cost as my husband gave me one from Inis Meáin and it is my favorite sweater. There are sweaters and then there are sweaters like yours--not for Etsy.
Great advice on advice.
P.S. That Colin Firth in the wet shirt is my favorite Mr. D.
That blond joke is really funny.
My (blonde) brother will be glad to hear it!
The other side of this: sometimes I have (in retrospect) needed advice, but didn’t seek it or receive it because I either didn’t know I needed it (like before I initiated my “starter marriage” when I was young and clueless), or because I didn’t know who to ask (like when I was struggling to decide on an undergrad major).
There is also an art to perceiving when a friend or associate needs advice, and taking the risk of offering it. I think this is part of good mentoring, a role which I find myself in pretty often as a university professor in a professional undergrad program.
This is a really important point. There is an art to knowing when and how to offer advice, especially when we know someone needs it but we’re not sure whether they are ready to hear it.
I LOVE Caspar!
I agree with your conclusion about your friends telling you that you should open an Etsy shop: it is totally a compliment! And your knitted items are gorgeous!
Vera has said the same thing about her paintings — people tell her she should open an Etsy but she spends a long time on her paintings and doubts she would recoup her time — plus she does it because she loves it and likes to make meaningful gifts for friends and family and not because she wants to toil away at it.
Also — loved the blond joke!
Unsolicited advice—I just smile and say thanks! I don’t mind unsolicited advice.
Thank you so much for these kind words! And I’m with Vera--I’d much rather give my knitted pieces as gifts to friends and family. It’s much more meaningful for me than just selling them!
Yes!
PS I’m glad I didn’t decide to surprise you with a stinky fleece mailed from Idaho.
Of course I didn’t know your mailing address so you were safe.
I'm curious what you're going to write about the Aberline paradox, I'd half forgotten about it until I saw that post ..... It's kind of what I do for a living, what's your take?
https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-west-4a8782/
Oh, I’m just a housewife, so I’m not on LinkedIn, alas. The Abilene Paradox will be in a post I’m writing for the first week in December--see you then!
Great post! I’m a chronic unsolicited-advice giver - I try to channel it into legal advice clinics, where people are making an appointment specifically to get my advice. I don’t know if it’s helping me give *less* advice elsewhere, though.
There’s an excellent coffee roaster in my town called Dancing Goats that got its name from that Ethiopian story!
I love that name for the coffee roastery! We should always give credit where credit is due, even if it is to goats!
And it is wonderful that you provide legal advice to people who couldn’t otherwise afford it--what a terrific way to channel your helpful impulses!
I really like all of your kind, charitable, straightforward responses to unsolicited advice. Maybe one of the kindnesses people like me can do is figure out how to better notice when someone is clearly trying to make the advice stop 😂 
I do understand about the sweater cost as my husband gave me one from Inis Meáin and it is my favorite sweater. There are sweaters and then there are sweaters like yours--not for Etsy.
Great advice on advice.
P.S. That Colin Firth in the wet shirt is my favorite Mr. D.
In re: Colin Firth, right?!