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The true, necessary and kind thing has also been attributed to the Buddha: https://fakebuddhaquotes.com/if-you-propose-to-speak-always-ask-yourself-is-it-true-is-it-necessary-is-it-kind/ but turns out to be from the Victorians, who were also thinking about when to gossip!

There's a more extreme version of some of your examples where the gossip network is the only way to get the message out that so-and-so is a known rapist, which is definitely ok with me under the "protecting life" heading.

Even in the Steve case, I think there's a strong argument, if your friend asked "What's Steve like?", to tell the truth just in case she's asking some form of "Is he a predator?" If the answer is "bit of a cad, but nothing worse than that" that's still useful information to have.

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Fair point. And really, the “true, necessary, and kind” principle ought to be universal—it’s probably as old as time!

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