My harpsichord-playing buddy is very inspiring in this way. I'm a perfectionist and a bad improvisor and often don't try things for fear of doing them badly; he loves the process of throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. We've only played music together a few times so far, but I love his excitement and openness to suggestion. He doesn't need his arrangements to be perfect and that's been really freeing - it feels more playful than music usually does for me.
So, my resolution is to be more like that guy, I guess! Or at least keep playing music with him until something rubs off.
In the last few years I’ve found willingness to try new things with no regard for looking or being “bad” to be the most underrated personality trait. It’s also the trait that truly changed my life. Sometimes I hear people say they can’t take a dance class because they might look bad, and I mention to people that I started dancing in adulthood and was a terrible, clumsy, untalented dancer for four years before I was a great dancer, and people find that a little encouraging and surprising - especially when I tell that that for those four years no one ever made fun of me or cared that I was terrible, clumsy and untalented.
Best of luck to you in internalizing that! I believe in you!
In my class* there’s a Tori Amos song where I tell everyone to find a space on the wall, then I turn off all the lights until it’s pitch black and just scream at them that no one’s watching them. The dancing they do after that segment ends is so free and creative. I think sometimes a reminder than no one GAF can go a long way to unlocking exploration - and failure. You don’t get better at something until you allow yourself to just suck at it first.
"Stay in your lane, cauliflower!" made me laugh out loud, and it just got better from there. Despite never doing formal resolutions, I accidentally read some of those annoying end-of-year articles and was already developing a fixation on trying to eat more fermented foods and yogurt (life is too short for such torment, and there are no guarantees).
This framing of resolutions is so much healthier. I seem to have internalized a lot of the instinctual Italian mistrust of neighbors over the years, which bums me out as someone who grew up somewhere it was normal to say hi to strangers I passed on a walk (my husband and I were traveling around the US last year for a couple weeks and he was flabbergasted by how randomly friendly most people were). Your apéro parties sound delightful, and I'm inspired to try to do more intentional socializing this year. (Could also pull out my half-finished novel and keep going if I get really ambitious.)
This year I’m just trying to amplify rather than restrict. I had a really great 2023, and rather than punishing myself at the end of the year for what I didn’t do, I went to maintain and strengthen the things that work for me. Keep dancing! Learn more cooking! Stay sober! Keep playing piano! Get my next belt at kung fu! All these things rewarded me so greatly in 2023 so I’m entering 2024 celebrating them.
My harpsichord-playing buddy is very inspiring in this way. I'm a perfectionist and a bad improvisor and often don't try things for fear of doing them badly; he loves the process of throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. We've only played music together a few times so far, but I love his excitement and openness to suggestion. He doesn't need his arrangements to be perfect and that's been really freeing - it feels more playful than music usually does for me.
So, my resolution is to be more like that guy, I guess! Or at least keep playing music with him until something rubs off.
I loved your photo of your friend so much! I confess that I am terrible at improvising, so he is a good role model for me too!
In the last few years I’ve found willingness to try new things with no regard for looking or being “bad” to be the most underrated personality trait. It’s also the trait that truly changed my life. Sometimes I hear people say they can’t take a dance class because they might look bad, and I mention to people that I started dancing in adulthood and was a terrible, clumsy, untalented dancer for four years before I was a great dancer, and people find that a little encouraging and surprising - especially when I tell that that for those four years no one ever made fun of me or cared that I was terrible, clumsy and untalented.
I agree--and this is what next week’s post will be about! Would it be ok with you if I quoted this comment? (And so cool that you are a dancer!)
Yes, absolutely! I’m glad it resonates!
That’s the hardest part to internalize: That truly, nobody actually cares what anyone else is doing! 😂 They’re too busy living their own lives!
Here’s to finally figuring that out this year!
Best of luck to you in internalizing that! I believe in you!
In my class* there’s a Tori Amos song where I tell everyone to find a space on the wall, then I turn off all the lights until it’s pitch black and just scream at them that no one’s watching them. The dancing they do after that segment ends is so free and creative. I think sometimes a reminder than no one GAF can go a long way to unlocking exploration - and failure. You don’t get better at something until you allow yourself to just suck at it first.
*artsy-fartsy body empowerment movement class~
"Stay in your lane, cauliflower!" made me laugh out loud, and it just got better from there. Despite never doing formal resolutions, I accidentally read some of those annoying end-of-year articles and was already developing a fixation on trying to eat more fermented foods and yogurt (life is too short for such torment, and there are no guarantees).
This framing of resolutions is so much healthier. I seem to have internalized a lot of the instinctual Italian mistrust of neighbors over the years, which bums me out as someone who grew up somewhere it was normal to say hi to strangers I passed on a walk (my husband and I were traveling around the US last year for a couple weeks and he was flabbergasted by how randomly friendly most people were). Your apéro parties sound delightful, and I'm inspired to try to do more intentional socializing this year. (Could also pull out my half-finished novel and keep going if I get really ambitious.)
These sound like wonderful plans, and I would love to hear an update about your novel one day!
I love how cheerful you always are. It's a good reminder for me that sometimes, actually, the world is pretty okay.
Oh, thank you so much! What a lovely thing to say!
It's a charming article - but the dog video steals the show! That could make a dog lover of anyone!!!
Isn’t he adorable? Noah and I watched the video so many times together!
This year I’m just trying to amplify rather than restrict. I had a really great 2023, and rather than punishing myself at the end of the year for what I didn’t do, I went to maintain and strengthen the things that work for me. Keep dancing! Learn more cooking! Stay sober! Keep playing piano! Get my next belt at kung fu! All these things rewarded me so greatly in 2023 so I’m entering 2024 celebrating them.
Great piece, Mari!
I love the framing of “amplify rather than restrict”! All of these goals sound terrific, especially staying sober. Well done!
this was a ridiculously enjoyable read! thank you Mari for providing an entertaining and beautiful perspective yet again!
Awww! Thank you so much! It was enjoyable to write!