I wish that in 20 years the journalists writing these vapid paeans to polyamory would check back in on their subjects. They won’t of course. But I wish they would.
Thank you for this! I could’t have said it better myself. More than one friend of mine is poly, and in the far-left subcultures I hang out in, it’s treated as completely unremarkable. To say that I don’t share that blasé perspective would be a gross understatement. I’m not mad or angry, I’m baffled and confused. I have a harder time relating to my poly friends abour poly than I do talking with Christian evangelicals. That is to say, poly makes me feel a sense of alienated estrangement. Like, why would anyone think it’s *fun*? In particular, the idea of someone *not* seeking a monogamous partner over the long term (regardless of their sexual orientation or desire to get married) is just… strange to me. I sincerely, truly Do Not Understand the desire to *stay* poly, much less the media tendency to glamorize it. I get why someone might experiment with poly for a time; I don’t understand its putative long-term appeal at all.
I also grew up to parents who were happily married, and both sets of grandparents were too. I’m deeply accustomed to the idea that long-term monogomany *can* work. Not saying that it *does* work, or that it *will*—but that it *can.*
If anything, I think you've given them more consideration than they deserve! I don't believe that it's even about hormones. Always seemed like fake libertinism for neurotics to me ...
Your writing is heart (and head) felt. So much insight. This topic is so tedious--and on a par with is Biden too old to be president and is Trump too nuts. Sigh
Mari! Yes! Thank you for this. And the pictures of your parents? Priceless. They set a good example for all of us. I remember their love even when we were teens and unimpressed with parents. They stood out as extraordinary, so kind and gentle with each other. And I ADORE the image you've set in my mind of you and Matt holding hands walking with Lynn to the bakery. Love to you all on this day set aside for lovers. xoxoxo
I wish that in 20 years the journalists writing these vapid paeans to polyamory would check back in on their subjects. They won’t of course. But I wish they would.
Such a wonderful read! The pictures warm my heart too. Thank you from an old married lady who would not have it any other way!
Thank you for this! I could’t have said it better myself. More than one friend of mine is poly, and in the far-left subcultures I hang out in, it’s treated as completely unremarkable. To say that I don’t share that blasé perspective would be a gross understatement. I’m not mad or angry, I’m baffled and confused. I have a harder time relating to my poly friends abour poly than I do talking with Christian evangelicals. That is to say, poly makes me feel a sense of alienated estrangement. Like, why would anyone think it’s *fun*? In particular, the idea of someone *not* seeking a monogamous partner over the long term (regardless of their sexual orientation or desire to get married) is just… strange to me. I sincerely, truly Do Not Understand the desire to *stay* poly, much less the media tendency to glamorize it. I get why someone might experiment with poly for a time; I don’t understand its putative long-term appeal at all.
I also grew up to parents who were happily married, and both sets of grandparents were too. I’m deeply accustomed to the idea that long-term monogomany *can* work. Not saying that it *does* work, or that it *will*—but that it *can.*
If anything, I think you've given them more consideration than they deserve! I don't believe that it's even about hormones. Always seemed like fake libertinism for neurotics to me ...
Your writing is heart (and head) felt. So much insight. This topic is so tedious--and on a par with is Biden too old to be president and is Trump too nuts. Sigh
Amen to this post!!!! I wholeheartedly agree with you🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️
Mari! Yes! Thank you for this. And the pictures of your parents? Priceless. They set a good example for all of us. I remember their love even when we were teens and unimpressed with parents. They stood out as extraordinary, so kind and gentle with each other. And I ADORE the image you've set in my mind of you and Matt holding hands walking with Lynn to the bakery. Love to you all on this day set aside for lovers. xoxoxo
To forestall any linguistic confusion: polygamy is having more than one legal spouse, polyamory is just screwing around.